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Don’t worry, like I’ve said before you won’t need to empty your bank account for one night of debaucherous nightclub glory. Take my advice and remember these easy to follow tips for once you’re past the velvet rope.

 

 

This one is pretty simple; be a nice guy, make some friends, and reap the rewards! Try to go to the same bartender/use the same server all night long. Smile, have your money ready and be polite. Order all of your drinks at one time and try and keep them pretty basic (highballs GOOD, complex martini that you read about in some ancient bartending book BAD). Above all, make sure that you tip! You probably won’t end up with any free drinks but most bartenders will start to recognize you as the night goes on and will give you faster service than the rest of the drunken riff raff.

 

MEGA PRO TIP:  Stuck in a long bar line-up? Chat up some girls! It’s a well known fact that girls get served at least four times as fast as guys do. Befriend your female line counter parts and zip straight to the front as a member of their group. In addition to faster drink refills you’re also conversing with the opposite sex, this is good!

 

Want to save 30% off of each drink that you buy? Stop drinking premium highballs!!! No matter what you think you are not cultured enough to taste the difference between Ciroc and Smirnoff, especially when you’re mixing it with 5 parts mix. Switching to non-premium booze saves an average of $3 per drink, that’s cover after 5 rounds. Trust me, no one will think less of you if you order a vodka redbull instead of a Ciroc and redbull; girls will still talk to you, the bar staff will not kick you out, you will still have a good time.

PRO TIP:  Have snooty friends that insist on drinking premium booze?  Buy them the generic stuff when they're not looking and lie to them, they won't be able to taste the difference and will thank you later on when you start saving them money too!

 

 

Most clubs will have a few tables in non VIP sections meaning you don’t have to buy bottles to sit at them. Lock these tables down every chance that you get! If you have enough friends with you your group should be able to keep a few people at the table most of the night giving you a steady home base until closing. Table already occupied? Remember tip 1 and go make some friends, if the table’s not jam packed full of meatheads you should be able to squeeze your crew in there by grabbing a round of drinks for everyone.

 

PRO TIP:  If you play your cards right tables for free can come with a server included. Flag a roaming server down and order a round for your table, congratulations, you’re now getting 90% of the table experience with none of the cost.

 

Remember, it might seem cool to needlessly throw around money but at the end of the night if you don’t have cab fare you’re not going to be able to take her home.

 

Confused on what to do before getting into the club? Check out the Everyman’s Guide to Clubbing Part 1