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Taking a guy home from the club can be a tough experience at the best of times. You’ve got to compete with all the other overly done up girls with their designer outfits, 6 inch heels and larger boobs.  Luckily I’m going to make your lives a bit easier by giving you a few simple tips on how to pick up guys at nightclubs. 

Girls, you can pick up too!

 

 

This tip is pretty simple: the less clothing that you wear the more attention that you’ll get from us guys.  Low cut shirts – bring em! Short skirts - hell ya!  That skimpy bikini top that you’ve been wanting to wear for the last 2 months but are nervous about wearing because it shows a little too much nip – do it! 
 

(Last year's Halloween costumes can be used again at any time!)

 

Be Aware: When you run your skimpy outfit by your girlfriends (and even some guy friends) they may say that it’s too trashy.  This is a lie, do not fall for their trickery!  Your girlfriends are jealous and don’t want you to get more attention than them.  Your guy friends, in an attempt to sleep with you, are just lying to make it seem like they are sensitive and in tune with women.

 

Bump and Grind 

 

Time and time again I’ve seen groups of girls dancing in a circle around a group of purses.  Do you girls think that your ritual circle purse dance will conjure up men?  It won’t.  Instead you will spend the entire night doing the running man and will go home alone.  If you truly want to pick up a guy with your dance moves here’s how:

 

(It's repetative, tedious, work but you've gotta put in the time if you want results)

 

 

Grabbing a girl’s ass in the club is often seen as poor form.  Luckily for you double standards are alive and well when it comes to touching and men!  If you’re talking to a guy (why are you talking to him? you should be grinding… see point 2) reach out and touch his abs, arms, or butt and comment on how hot it makes you. 

 

Advanced Tip:  While on the dance floor feel free to reach out and grope males at whim.  Remember; initiate contact early and often to keep yourself in the game!

 

 

 

So you’ve been at the club for a couple hours, you’re wearing your skimpiest outfit, you’ve basically been giving out lap dances on the floor all night long, there’s not one male body part that you haven’t grabbed, and you still haven’t picked up a guy.  Do not worry!  30 minutes before any venue shuts down a horde of drunk, desperate males will descend on it looking for a late night pick up.  At this point in the night you basically just need to stand around and wait for your intoxicated prince charming to come in and sweep you off your feet.  Just make sure that you’re able to stand and maybe pitch in for half the cab fare back to his place.
 

(It's closing time - just go with it... 4 more tequila shots and he'll look fine anyway)

Like I said, picking up guys is tough work (at least harder than picking up girls).  Next time you're out at the clubs put some of this wisdom into action and you'll find things move a whole lot quicker!