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While researching this article I found so many things listed as “better than sex” that I started to wonder why anyone bothers at all anymore…We’ve had sliced bread for quite a few years now so I guess the saying “it’s the best thing since sliced bread” has lost it’s impact because the new catchphrase for the ultimate comparison is that it’s “better than sex”.

Of course some people prefer food to sex so I guess sliced bread is better than sex in some cases… Confused yet? Keep reading!

1. Housework?

Photo by by Ciorra Photography

Over 30% of women surveyed claim that “cleaning gives them more satisfaction than sex”.

These are the results of a survey of two thousand women for the National Housework Survey of Great Britain 2006. Regarding this survey, the Independent Daily reported that “even in an age when women are making economic strides and excelling in the workplace, the one thing that gives the majority a sense of empowerment is a good go around the house with the vacuum cleaner — followed by some cleaning and dusting.”

These must be the same women who don’t find Mr. Muscle or the Brawny paper towel guy the least bit distracting. I mean who wouldn’t like a ‘good go around’ with one of these guys?

2. Dating A Vampire

Uploaded by Roberto Rizzato

Fans of the book or the movie Twilight know that you can’t have sex with your vampire boyfriend or he will probably kill you in a passionate fit. But you’re willing to make that sacrifice because you just love him so much.

He’s so wonderful that it’s all worth it - he’s extremely handsome, drives an expensive car, and he actually glitters in the sunlight. (Now what teen girl isn’t a sucker for glitter?)

Did I mention that he might sneak into your bedroom and stare at you all night while you are sleeping? Or that he’s condescending, emotionally distant, and rather sarcastic? Oh, and his body is ice cold, he’s murdered people in the past, and his friends and family instinctively want to drink your blood?

But I don’t care, mom, he’s dreamy!

3. Weight Loss

Photo by Laura Jones

According to a survey at AOLHealth.com, 26% of the moms who participated would rather “lose 10 pounds” than “have more sex”.  Even more of them (30%) would rather “make more money” (not surprising, since you don’t actually get paid anything to be a mom…).

4. Music

Photo by by Shery Han

Findings from a survey conducted by Marrakesh Records: “Music is hugely important… 60% of 16-24 year-olds would rather go without sex than music for a week. This increases to 70% for 16-19 year-olds.”

Okay, I now have this whole teen sex/abstinence thing figured out – the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) should only prosecute pregnant teens and their boyfriends for downloading music illegally, that should be more effective than Bristol Palin’s Abstinence Campaign! Once a few kids are prosecuted and word gets around, teen pregnancies will decrease (of course, music downloading may increase…)

5. Sleep

According to the Sleep Well website based out of Stanford University there are at least ten reasons why sleep is better than sex.

Among them: “sleep can last a good eight hours (or more)” and “while sleeping you can have sex with anyone you want”.

UK website The Independent reported that “almost 80 per cent of Britons prefer a good night’s sleep to sex”. This comes from a study conducted by the Edinburgh Sleep Centre where “79.2 per cent [of over 8,500 people] admitted they preferred the thought of extra sleep to sex.”

Of course, this could be one of those win-win situations: if you make sleep your priority at night that might give you more energy for all sorts of activity during the day (hint, hint)…

6. Food

Photo by Bob.Fornal

Food wins out over sex in so many ways. Most obviously, because you can order it in or enjoy it all by yourself without being judged…

There are 326 recipes called “Better Than Sex Cake” at Cooks.com alone. There is also one recipe at the same site called “Almost Better Than Sex Cake” – I’m guessing this is by the one home chef who has actually sampled both?

Of course if you prefer cookies, here is a better than sex cookie recipe.

I’ve also never heard anyone use the saying, “eat your brains out”… In fact, many foods are actually good for your brain. An article at cnn.com cites a study at Wheeling Jesuit University (West Virginia) that indicates that chocolate can improve “memory, attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving skills”.

Not convinced? Compare this to having sex “on the brain”, which has the exact opposite effect, causing: forgetfulness, distraction, and the inability to think clearly.

Chocolate is also an aphrodisiac, so if you choose chocolate over sex you may still end up with both…

7. The Internet

Photo by Aghenor ITA

According to Judy Mottl’s article The Internet: Better than Sex?, an Intel-sponsored survey found that “46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would rather abstain from sexual activity for two weeks than go without Internet access for the same timeframe. The percentage spikes higher, to 49 percent, among women ages 18 to 34 years old and to a whopping 52 percent for 35 years old to 44 years old.” (wi-fiplanet.com)

Reasons given by the same article for why the Internet is so important:
1.    The ability to stay in touch with family and friends.
2.    More efficient shopping.
3.    A better grip on personal/financial activities thanks to online services.

Source: Toptenz