shannon-m
Calgary
lethal
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I may be back on the market this evening...
Gavin's friend just got dumped and now he thinks he can just snort it all away, and bring Gavin with him while he does it.
I have 0 tolerance for that crap, so depending what decision Gavin makes, he may be homeless and single tomorrow morning.
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shannon-m
Calgary
lethal
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I don't know anymore.
I've given him so many chances, but I feel it never improves. Last night he threatened me with the "Do you want to end up like Chantal?!" (his friend's ex, and my friend) and the only thing I could think of to say was "What, better off?!"
I really don't know...but his friend, as nice as he is most of the time, is a disrespectful douchebag. He knows how I feel about drugs, yet he brings it into my home, offers it to Gavin, then lies about it to me because I tell him NOT to bring it near me, or offer it to Gavin, ever.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:23:31 PM
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li sa
Windsor
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you seem pretty indifferent. so either you're a super cool cucumber or you aren't happy and this is just another strike.
i dunno.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:27:40 PM
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li sa
Windsor
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On 10/10/2008 1:23:31 PM, shannon-m wrote:
but his friend, as nice as he is most of the time, is a disrespectful douchebag. He knows how I feel about drugs, yet he brings it into my home, offers it to Gavin, then lies about it to me because I tell him NOT to bring it near me, or offer it to Gavin, ever.
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and that for sure is gavins fault... the friend has no obligation to anyone. but gavin should have enough respect for you to make his own decisions. but i'm sure i'm not telling you anything you don't know.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:30:52 PM
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aurelian
Denver
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On 10/10/2008 1:18:58 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I may be back on the market this evening...
Gavin's friend just got dumped and now he thinks he can just snort it all away, and bring Gavin with him while he does it.
I have 0 tolerance for that crap, so depending what decision Gavin makes, he may be homeless and single tomorrow morning.
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zero tolerance is the only way to go, even if doing so causes the relationship to crash and burn. we've all had friends who went the drug route and if we're all honest, we can look at 10 friends who struggled with drug habits and chances are 8 of them are screwed up to this day. it's just a cycle some can't break and one that others have to avoid at all costs. you sound like you're whats behind door number 2.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:31:34 PM
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shannon-m
Calgary
lethal
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On 10/10/2008 1:27:40 PM, li sa wrote:
you seem pretty indifferent. so either you're a super cool cucumber or you aren't happy and this is just another strike.
i dunno.
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I try to be cool about alot of things...but this is most definitely another strike. He's at about strike 7658980789 to be honest.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:40:30 PM
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shannon-m
Calgary
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On 10/10/2008 1:31:34 PM, aurelian wrote:
zero tolerance is the only way to go, even if doing so causes the relationship to crash and burn. we've all had friends who went the drug route and if we're all honest, we can look at 10 friends who struggled with drug habits and chances are 8 of them are screwed up to this day. it's just a cycle some can't break and one that others have to avoid at all costs. you sound like you're whats behind door number 2.
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He was an addict, I get it..but he's 27 years old. He doesn't ever touch drugs unless he's around this particular guy. He thinks it's okay to do "just a little bit" every once in a while because it's not all the time...and he doesn't understand why it bothers me SO SOOOOO much. He can't see himself on it, he doesn't see what he looks like, how he acts, he doesn't feel what I feel when he touches me...he HURTS me when he touches me on coke. He doesn't understand this, and it's not just physically when he touches my arm or tries to be flirty by grabbing my ass...he gets on the defense and verbally talks me down to the ground, and makes me feel like I'm just a disposable piece of crap.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:43:49 PM
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aurelian
Denver
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On 10/10/2008 1:40:30 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I try to be cool about alot of things...but this is most definitely another strike. He's at about strike 7658980789 to be honest.
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if he's had that many strikes and is still in the batter's box, you must see something in him. maybe the size of his bat.
I kid.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:44:16 PM
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aurelian
Denver
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On 10/10/2008 1:43:49 PM, shannon-m wrote:
He was an addict, I get it..but he's 27 years old. He doesn't ever touch drugs unless he's around this particular guy. He thinks it's okay to do "just a little bit" every once in a while because it's not all the time...and he doesn't understand why it bothers me SO SOOOOO much. He can't see himself on it, he doesn't see what he looks like, how he acts, he doesn't feel what I feel when he touches me...he HURTS me when he touches me on coke. He doesn't understand this, and it's not just physically when he touches my arm or tries to be flirty by grabbing my ass...he gets on the defense and verbally talks me down to the ground, and makes me feel like I'm just a disposable piece of crap.
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it sounds like there's a threshold of abuse you're willing to accept so that relationship doesn't fall apart. with his behavior when on drugs, there must be a lot of good things you see when he's not on drugs. which list is longer?
are you scared of being alone?
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:48:50 PM
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shannon-m
Calgary
lethal
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On 10/10/2008 1:48:50 PM, aurelian wrote:
it sounds like there's a threshold of abuse you're willing to accept so that relationship doesn't fall apart. with his behavior when on drugs, there must be a lot of good things you see when he's not on drugs. which list is longer?
are you scared of being alone?
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I don't know which list is longer anymore. He has made a really solid effort to do better and make the effort to keep me around after our last break up talk...but this past week has been HELL with him.
And no, I am in no way afraid of being alone. I like being alone.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 1:55:10 PM
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aurelian
Denver
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On 10/10/2008 1:55:10 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I don't know which list is longer anymore. He has made a really solid effort to do better and make the effort to keep me around after our last break up talk...but this past week has been HELL with him.
And no, I am in no way afraid of being alone. I like being alone.
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It's easy for me to say but if I were in your shoes:
1. I'd kick him out and demand that he decides between you and drugs, now and forever. If he loves you and that love is stronger than his drug problem, he'll come back. If not, he needs to find his own path and you need to find happiness with someone who shares your values.
2. My feet would be killing me.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 2:00:25 PM
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tripple b
Calgary
<3 Skittlez <3
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On 10/10/2008 1:23:31 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I don't know anymore.
I've given him so many chances, but I feel it never improves. Last night he threatened me with the "Do you want to end up like Chantal?!" (his friend's ex, and my friend) and the only thing I could think of to say was "What, better off?!"
I really don't know...but his friend, as nice as he is most of the time, is a disrespectful douchebag. He knows how I feel about drugs, yet he brings it into my home, offers it to Gavin, then lies about it to me because I tell him NOT to bring it near me, or offer it to Gavin, ever.
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You should boot his butt out and get a new place with this Chantel!
Good Luck. I wish you the best.
Please read that as "I hope you do kick his ass out because your life will vastly improve because of it" Some people just drag you down and hold you back. 
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Posted: 10/10/2008 2:09:31 PM
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intricate
Vancouver
~Per ardua ad astra~
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On 10/10/2008 1:55:10 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I don't know which list is longer anymore. He has made a really solid effort to do better and make the effort to keep me around after our last break up talk...but this past week has been HELL with him.
And no, I am in no way afraid of being alone. I like being alone.
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from where i'm standing, limited view admittedly, it sounds like he does JUST enough to keep you around. Bare minimum. You will always be putting out fires and having to issue ultimatums i suspect...
may be time to pull the chute and hold out for better...
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Posted: 10/10/2008 2:12:17 PM
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nyla princ...
Los Angeles
Lick my mango
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On 10/10/2008 1:18:58 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I may be back on the market this evening...
Gavin's friend just got dumped and now he thinks he can just snort it all away, and bring Gavin with him while he does it.
I have 0 tolerance for that crap, so depending what decision Gavin makes, he may be homeless and single tomorrow morning.
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I just envisioned a stampede of CZ males going online or trying to meet you outside the mall where you said you were going shopping. And all of them going "pick me - pick me". LOL
Yeah good luck with that. Somehow with addictions it is bros over hos. So no cappucino for him then? Ha!
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Posted: 10/10/2008 3:33:34 PM
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mark8999
Edmonton
relax, ok?
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On 10/10/2008 1:18:58 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I have 0 tolerance for that crap
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right there you have your answer
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Posted: 10/10/2008 5:03:53 PM
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walter kov...
Calgary
Existence is random
Posts : 1,595
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On 10/10/2008 1:23:31 PM, shannon-m wrote:
I don't know anymore.
I've given him so many chances, but I feel it never improves. Last night he threatened me with the "Do you want to end up like Chantal?!" (his friend's ex, and my friend) and the only thing I could think of to say was "What, better off?!"
I really don't know...but his friend, as nice as he is most of the time, is a disrespectful douchebag. He knows how I feel about drugs, yet he brings it into my home, offers it to Gavin, then lies about it to me because I tell him NOT to bring it near me, or offer it to Gavin, ever.
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Just so you know... you deserve only the best so don't settle.
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Posted: 10/10/2008 5:05:34 PM
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Shopping Cart
UH OH, OR YAY...
or 
nevermind carry on 