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On 7/2/2008 1:34:12 PM, blackwidow wrote: dated someone for a very short period of time and thought maybe their not the right person for you for whatever reason, and after you guys break up, you can't get them out of your head. What do you do? do you lower yourself and run after them or do you just let it go and keep telling yourself you did the right thing?

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On 7/2/2008 1:34:12 PM, blackwidow wrote: dated someone for a very short period of time and thought maybe their not the right person for you for whatever reason, and after you guys break up, you can't get them out of your head. What do you do? do you lower yourself and run after them or do you just let it go and keep telling yourself you did the right thing?

On 7/2/2008 1:40:53 PM, Shaun_Blaze wrote: That's an EXCELLENT point -- make sure that it's NOT just that you feel the urge to be in a relationship. make sure that you REALLY think that person is right for you. Like Cate said, it may require a bit of time. But try to be as objective with yourself as possible. I've found that making a list of positives and negatives helps me stay objective in these situations.

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On 7/2/2008 1:38:33 PM, blackwidow wrote: well the situation is different, i didn't want to commit and he didn't want to be friends till i was ready. but now that i think about it, the more loser i meet the more i miss him. i don't think we hurt each other, actually i think he hurt ME more than i hurt him, but i know he was trying to hurt me because he felt hurt i wouldn't commit. in any case, i've sent him a text message and an email telling him i miss him, and he didn't respond. he probably hates me! And i feel awful.

On 7/2/2008 1:38:33 PM, blackwidow wrote: well the situation is different, i didn't want to commit and he didn't want to be friends till i was ready. but now that i think about it, the more loser i meet the more i miss him. i don't think we hurt each other, actually i think he hurt ME more than i hurt him, but i know he was trying to hurt me because he felt hurt i wouldn't commit. in any case, i've sent him a text message and an email telling him i miss him, and he didn't respond. he probably hates me! And i feel awful.

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On 7/2/2008 1:38:33 PM, blackwidow wrote: well the situation is different, i didn't want to commit and he didn't want to be friends till i was ready. but now that i think about it, the more loser i meet the more i miss him. i don't think we hurt each other, actually i think he hurt ME more than i hurt him, but i know he was trying to hurt me because he felt hurt i wouldn't commit. in any case, i've sent him a text message and an email telling him i miss him, and he didn't respond. he probably hates me! And i feel awful.

On 7/2/2008 1:43:14 PM, Cravey wrote: right.. BW said she misses him.. a little self-examination.. why does she miss him? what about him does she miss? This may be a humbling situation.. but.. the long term benefits may make it worth it..

On 7/2/2008 1:44:35 PM, Big Daddy J wrote: Awwww! Unfortunately, time plays a big part in whether or not an relationship can work or not. Try not to worry about it too much. Give it time....maybe he has been thinking of you, too.

On 7/2/2008 1:45:43 PM, blackwidow wrote: ...but something must be there if i'm having such a hard time forgetting about him when i've dated 4 guys after him already.

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On 7/2/2008 1:45:43 PM, blackwidow wrote: with all my past relationships, attraction was never there until LATER in the relationship, i know it kind of sucks, but i was never really attracted with any of my ex's except this guy. the way we met and the way things worked out was unexpected. i don't think i was ready, and because of that i don't think i did my best to be the best girl to him. He gave me a second chance but that second chance i goofed up cuz like i said, the pace we were going at kind of freaked me out and i needed to take care of certain things in my life before i can focus on another individual. now i think i really screwed things up. I can honestly say i don't know if i do actually like him cuz i wasn't with him long enough, but something must be there if i'm having such a hard time forgetting about him when i've dated 4 guys after him already.

On 7/2/2008 1:46:47 PM, blackwidow wrote: thats a damn good question, and i don't have the answer to it. I think i need therapy....just like he said.

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On 7/2/2008 1:48:12 PM, Cravey wrote: give it another whirl.. you may have needed to date the 4 other guys in order to have the proper perspective of the one you really want..

On 7/2/2008 1:46:46 PM, Shaun_Blaze wrote: Look Lette!!!!! Try the best you can not to feel awful. It is what it is. If he can't forgive for you for whatever PERCEIVED wrongdoings you alegedly committed, then (excuse my french), FUKK HIM!!!! It's HIS loss. I don't think you did anything wrong. If you weren't ready for commitment, you did the right thing by not committing. If couldn't handle that, tough titty. That doesn't give him a right to purposely retaliate by hurting you. Nonetheless, I qualify my advice by stating that I'm only going by what you're typing here (which is obviously only one side of the story). Again, I suggest that you try to view the situation objectively before taking any action. If you look at it objectively and you were truly wrong, AND you truly think he's the one for you, then expalin to him what you did wrong, why you did it, apologize, and ask for a second chance to try to make it work. Unfortunately, if he's a proud person as well, you're probably better off moving on.

On 7/2/2008 1:52:24 PM, Shaun_Blaze wrote: I have a fairly comparable story i can tell you from personal experience, but unfortunately, i have to go to track practice. In a nutshell, the moral of the story is: "Make sure you like him because you really like him. Don't compare him to the other losers that you've dated. Compare him to what you want and need from a relationship -- independent from all other men." Don't choose the lesser of several evils. Be patient until Mr. Blackwidow arrives. (Or Mr. Blaze)