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Sashy
Toronto
wa gwan? Posts : 24,898
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On 5/8/2008 10:19:53 AM, Shaun_Blaze wrote: Try to hold it together, Hun. Again I say, IT'S HIS LOSS. Let me tell you a little something about the whole caring thing: My ex-wife used to call me "The Saviour to Those Who Don't Want to be Saved." ....and as much as I hate to admit it, she was right. My advice to you is: Understand that he is doing you an injustice by putting you IN this situation and an even greater injustice by turning his back on you emotionally as you grieve. Turn your hurt into anger and use that as strength to move on and cut him out of your life. i KNOW you're a long way from that right now, but it's right here IN WRITING whenever you're ready. You've done nothing wrong, HE HAS. Therefore, don't punish yourself by grieving the situation and regretting your actions. You were being you. And you're a WONDERFUL person. The fact that some a-hole took advantage of your kindness isn't your fault. Like Bees said, try to accept this as a learning experience.
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ya i know, thanks. But even on the phone, i told him give me a few days, weeks, maybe even months to grieve and think and cry...and he just keeps getting mad, and saying but u shouldnt even be doing this, we arent together....he just doesnt understand. If i could grieve and he could let me...then i bet after a while, ill probably be able to be a friend again and care for him and his illness. but he wont even let me grieve. ...and the phone thing, i pick up his calls cuz i dont have caller id...and right now alot of ppl are worried so i dunno whos calling. ugh!
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:30:03 AM
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Cravey
Houston
Honesty - try it.. Posts : 3,611
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On 5/8/2008 10:26:34 AM, tripple b wrote: I have learnt how to be one of those. I think it's saved me lots in the long run. I still care... I'm just very jewish about who I care for.
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Ya, that's me, except being Catholic about it.. I give 100% or 0%.. not necessarily the way to do things but at least we don't confuse people..
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:30:37 AM
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Sashy
Toronto
wa gwan? Posts : 24,898
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and you know that sucks? i work with him. i have to see him everyday. ugh.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:31:25 AM
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Shaun_Blaze
Atlanta
At Least I'm Honest Posts : 51,924
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On 5/8/2008 10:30:03 AM, Sashy wrote: ya i know, thanks. But even on the phone, i told him give me a few days, weeks, maybe even months to grieve and think and cry...and he just keeps getting mad, and saying but u shouldnt even be doing this, we arent together....he just doesnt understand. If i could grieve and he could let me...then i bet after a while, ill probably be able to be a friend again and care for him and his illness. but he wont even let me grieve. ...and the phone thing, i pick up his calls cuz i dont have caller id...and right now alot of ppl are worried so i dunno whos calling. ugh!
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Tell the people who care to TEXT you and you'll call them back.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:31:41 AM
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Shaun_Blaze
Atlanta
At Least I'm Honest Posts : 51,924
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On 5/8/2008 10:31:25 AM, Sashy wrote: and you know that sucks? i work with him. i have to see him everyday. ugh.
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I know. when you get a chance later this week, re-read my (long-ass) posts. lol I addressed that whole working with him thing somewhere in there, I think.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:32:46 AM
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Cravey
Houston
Honesty - try it.. Posts : 3,611
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On 5/8/2008 10:31:25 AM, Sashy wrote: and you know that sucks? i work with him. i have to see him everyday. ugh.
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that's the tuffie.. even if you want to distance yourself, work mitigates against that.. you're not heartless, which sucks right now.. I'd tell him about a new experimental cancer research program in Lagos, Nigeria..
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:33:13 AM
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misschief
London UK
( . Y . ) Posts : 19,192
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On 5/8/2008 10:31:25 AM, Sashy wrote: and you know that sucks? i work with him. i have to see him everyday. ugh.
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oh that SUCKS. it would have been alot cleaner if you could have just cut him off.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:35:01 AM
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Sashy
Toronto
wa gwan? Posts : 24,898
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On 5/8/2008 10:22:12 AM, tripple b wrote: He'll die lonely, that's for sure. Something else seems kinda funny.. How can this woman really be sure that this dirtbag will even live to see January? I think someone else would have made a better candidate for marriage.
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you know i even thought about that....but again i dont want to, as no matter how much he hurt me i dont want to see him die from that. And yesterday at the hospital we found out his WB cell counts are higher than ever....so who knows.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:36:01 AM
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misschief
London UK
( . Y . ) Posts : 19,192
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On 5/8/2008 10:34:21 AM, tripple b wrote: but they aren't in a relationship remember.
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they dont have to call it a relationship. you can call it whatever you want. but it still sounds like a relationship to me. i dunno if theyre exclusive or not...but other than that, they call each other 5 times a day, hang out together, care for each other, sex each other.. theyre involved. i'm just calling it like i see it.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:38:08 AM
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tripple b
Toronto
*Le*Sigh* Posts : 23,249
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On 5/8/2008 10:36:01 AM, Sashy wrote: you know i even thought about that....but again i dont want to, as no matter how much he hurt me i dont want to see him die from that. And yesterday at the hospital we found out his WB cell counts are higher than ever....so who knows.
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Sometimes things happen to people for a reason. I'd sit back if I were you and see how this really pans out. Just cut yourself off from him.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:38:51 AM
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droopy dra...
Los Angeles
No I'm Not Skuhlz Posts : 714
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my theory: assholes are born every second, genuine human beings every minute.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:39:49 AM
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Sashy
Toronto
wa gwan? Posts : 24,898
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On 5/8/2008 10:38:51 AM, tripple b wrote: Sometimes things happen to people for a reason. I'd sit back if I were you and see how this really pans out. Just cut yourself off from him.
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ya true. its weird, alot of my friends good friends werent around the past year, and my two BEST friends just recently moved back home...i told them, Jamaica has been all i had for the past while...and how that he does this...thank god i have you two here now...or else i dunno what id do...seriously. and ya it may not even play out. and i will cut him out at least for as long as i need to to grieve and get over it....cuz really, i dont wanna not be his friend...cuz i truly believe he wont make it without me....really.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:42:06 AM
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