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On 5/8/2008 10:08:57 AM, droopy drawers wrote:
That's also why i'm skeptical.
If he cared for Sashy, he wouldn't care about getting money for marrying some broad. If he wanted extra cash he'd deliver pizzas and save his integrity.
liar liar pants on fire.
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just from what sashy wrote, to me its either the one or the other
1. he had this long distance relationship with the girl, which is pushing now probably on a future plan of coming indeed to stay with him.
2. he made up the whole story to get sashy deattached from him. sort of like saying, we have fun now, but dont expect something more, or for long time
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:13:35 AM
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Deleted User
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Having cancer doesn't give him license to be a jerk.
That so many people's true personality bubbles to the surface during times of crisis would tell me all I need to know about this guy.
Your devotion and compassion is far better spent on someone who behaves properly and doesn't casually dismiss your feelings when you've made it clear to him that you're hurt.
Send him packing, resists the desire to give him another shot and before you know it, "plan B" will be in your midst.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:14:32 AM
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droopy dra...
Los Angeles
No I'm Not Skuhlz
Posts : 1,081
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On 5/8/2008 10:12:26 AM, Sashy wrote:
i feel like being a good person, caring, pouring ur feelings out and showing ur heart is no good anymore. just yesterday i took him to the hospital helped him around then house...paid for parking...everything....and he just stabs me, like that.
i havent been this hurt in a long time. and i thought i was stronger than this. maybe hes right, im crazy...i have a problem.
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good people get used and abused by bad people.
stand up for yourself, he obviously doesn't respect you.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:15:06 AM
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misschief
London UK
loves it!
Posts : 19,519
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On 5/8/2008 10:08:42 AM, Sashy wrote:
you know what he said to me on the phone, the second time just now...?
...i told him i cant believe who'd tell me something like this the way you did and not expect me to act this way, then he yells "WE AREN'T TOGETHER ALEX" and i continue saying ive done so much for you ive ALWAYS been there, and you cant even tell me this in a more sincere way..and he again says "WE ARENT TOGETHER" and when i mention this is basically a money transaction he sais thats his problem and why wouldnt he do it he needs money...and i say you could be more supportive of how i feel then, even just not to call me right now would be supportive and let me grieve, but he keeps saying he doesnt understand why, and that im throwing things in his face and that i should just not help him anymore...which kills me, really...cuz i worry.
you know, obviously, i was getting more feelings towards him and if he really was feeling nothing but pure friendship then he should of told me...he should of backed off cuz he keeps saying he knew i was getting attached he knew it...if he knew it he could of just let me know and backed things up himself...instead of me dying over here....
just the way hes reacting to me cry. also, when he just called me, the first thing he said was...are you a baby or a grown woman? ...
..i can't believe this. and he also says now i know who you truly are...BUT WHAT I AM!? a friend who obviously cares like crazy....a person who cares so much and after being showed so much love gets a bit attached? for obvious reasons? ...but i see the real him...someone who just wants money...just doesnt even care.
...why do people like me get this ****? why has every man in my life treated me like garbage? men always says they want a good woman...then why the **** do i get this **** put upon me!? im totally breaking down.....
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why does he have to be so rude about it?
if he knew you were getting deep...and he didnt wanna go down that route...yet he continued the love making...it kinda sound like he's using you. 
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:15:28 AM
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tripple b
Calgary
<3 Skittlez <3
Posts : 30,048
Legend
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On 5/8/2008 10:08:42 AM, Sashy wrote:
you know what he said to me on the phone, the second time just now...?
...i told him i cant believe who'd tell me something like this the way you did and not expect me to act this way, then he yells "WE AREN'T TOGETHER ALEX" and i continue saying ive done so much for you ive ALWAYS been there, and you cant even tell me this in a more sincere way..and he again says "WE ARENT TOGETHER" and when i mention this is basically a money transaction he sais thats his problem and why wouldnt he do it he needs money...and i say you could be more supportive of how i feel then, even just not to call me right now would be supportive and let me grieve, but he keeps saying he doesnt understand why, and that im throwing things in his face and that i should just not help him anymore...which kills me, really...cuz i worry.
you know, obviously, i was getting more feelings towards him and if he really was feeling nothing but pure friendship then he should of told me...he should of backed off cuz he keeps saying he knew i was getting attached he knew it...if he knew it he could of just let me know and backed things up himself...instead of me dying over here....
just the way hes reacting to me cry. also, when he just called me, the first thing he said was...are you a baby or a grown woman? ...
..i can't believe this. and he also says now i know who you truly are...BUT WHAT I AM!? a friend who obviously cares like crazy....a person who cares so much and after being showed so much love gets a bit attached? for obvious reasons? ...but i see the real him...someone who just wants money...just doesnt even care.
...why do people like me get this ****? why has every man in my life treated me like garbage? men always says they want a good woman...then why the **** do i get this **** put upon me!? im totally breaking down.....
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You know what Sashy... he will get what's coming to him.
He's obviously not a good friend. And obviously doesn't value the friendship you gave him.
The fact that he keeps reminding you that "you aren't together" should tell you something. It speaks volumes about what he thinks and how he sees things, which explains his actions.
He basically just wants to have his cake and eat it too. He likely sees your "friendly arrangement" as just another transaction.
He is scum. And a drity bag.
He is also probably enjoying the reaction he is getting out of you. It probably makes him feel good.
Don't give him that satisfaction.
Be sad. Just don't let him see it.
Time will heal. Not all men are like this. I've been though my share. Sometimes you just have to go though a lot of crappy ones to find the good ones.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:16:33 AM
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droopy dra...
Los Angeles
No I'm Not Skuhlz
Posts : 1,081
Club Hopper
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live and learn.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:16:46 AM
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li sa
Windsor
Bun in Oven
Posts : 29,307
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stop answering your phone honey.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:19:48 AM
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Shaun_Blaze
Atlanta
At Least I'm Honest
Posts : 52,686
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On 5/8/2008 10:08:42 AM, Sashy wrote:
you know what he said to me on the phone, the second time just now...?
...i told him i cant believe who'd tell me something like this the way you did and not expect me to act this way, then he yells "WE AREN'T TOGETHER ALEX" and i continue saying ive done so much for you ive ALWAYS been there, and you cant even tell me this in a more sincere way..and he again says "WE ARENT TOGETHER" and when i mention this is basically a money transaction he sais thats his problem and why wouldnt he do it he needs money...and i say you could be more supportive of how i feel then, even just not to call me right now would be supportive and let me grieve, but he keeps saying he doesnt understand why, and that im throwing things in his face and that i should just not help him anymore...which kills me, really...cuz i worry.
you know, obviously, i was getting more feelings towards him and if he really was feeling nothing but pure friendship then he should of told me...he should of backed off cuz he keeps saying he knew i was getting attached he knew it...if he knew it he could of just let me know and backed things up himself...instead of me dying over here....
just the way hes reacting to me cry. also, when he just called me, the first thing he said was...are you a baby or a grown woman? ...
..i can't believe this. and he also says now i know who you truly are...BUT WHAT I AM!? a friend who obviously cares like crazy....a person who cares so much and after being showed so much love gets a bit attached? for obvious reasons? ...but i see the real him...someone who just wants money...just doesnt even care.
...why do people like me get this ****? why has every man in my life treated me like garbage? men always says they want a good woman...then why the **** do i get this **** put upon me!? im totally breaking down.....
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Try to hold it together, Hun.
Again I say, IT'S HIS LOSS.
Let me tell you a little something about the whole caring thing:
My ex-wife used to call me "The Saviour to Those Who Don't Want to be Saved."
....and as much as I hate to admit it, she was right.
My advice to you is:
Understand that he is doing you an injustice by putting you IN this situation and an even greater injustice by turning his back on you emotionally as you grieve.
Turn your hurt into anger and use that as strength to move on and cut him out of your life.
i KNOW you're a long way from that right now, but it's right here IN WRITING whenever you're ready.
You've done nothing wrong, HE HAS.
Therefore, don't punish yourself by grieving the situation and regretting your actions.
You were being you. And you're a WONDERFUL person. The fact that some a-hole took advantage of your kindness isn't your fault.
Like Bees said, try to accept this as a learning experience.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:19:53 AM
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li sa
Windsor
Bun in Oven
Posts : 29,307
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On 5/8/2008 10:19:53 AM, Shaun_Blaze wrote:
My ex-wife used to call me "The Saviour to Those Who Don't Want to be Saved."
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sh*t add me to that list...
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:22:45 AM
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tripple b
Calgary
<3 Skittlez <3
Posts : 30,048
Legend
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On 5/8/2008 10:22:45 AM, li sa wrote:
sh*t add me to that list...
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*raises hand* Me Too!
I got burnt one to many times and finally learnt my lesson.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:24:04 AM
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Shaun_Blaze
Atlanta
At Least I'm Honest
Posts : 52,686
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On 5/8/2008 10:19:48 AM, li sa wrote:
stop answering your phone honey.
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STOP ANSWERING YOUR PHONE HONEY!!!!!!!
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:25:11 AM
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Deleted User
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Posts : NA
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On 5/8/2008 10:24:04 AM, tripple b wrote:
*raises hand* Me Too!
I got burnt one to many times and finally learnt my lesson.
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This is where me being a cold-hearted bastard pays off..
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:25:25 AM
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tripple b
Calgary
<3 Skittlez <3
Posts : 30,048
Legend
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On 5/8/2008 10:25:11 AM, Shaun_Blaze wrote:
STOP ANSWERING YOUR PHONE HONEY!!!!!!!
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echo....echo.....echo.....
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:25:39 AM
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li sa
Windsor
Bun in Oven
Posts : 29,307
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On 5/8/2008 10:25:25 AM, Cravey wrote:
This is where me being a cold-hearted bastard pays off..
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i teeter between the two.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:26:25 AM
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tripple b
Calgary
<3 Skittlez <3
Posts : 30,048
Legend
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On 5/8/2008 10:25:25 AM, Cravey wrote:
This is where me being a cold-hearted bastard pays off..
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I have learnt how to be one of those.
I think it's saved me lots in the long run.
I still care... I'm just very jewish about who I care for.
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:26:34 AM
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Deleted User
NA
Posts : NA
Newbie
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On 5/8/2008 10:26:25 AM, li sa wrote:
i teeter between the two.
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The ability to teeter shows that you've established standards of behavior for those you let into your life..
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Posted: 5/8/2008 10:28:00 AM
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LIFE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE...BAH!
