HOW TO NOT BE A PUSHOVER ADD FAVORITE

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On 4/30/2008 8:49:50 AM, speed wrote:


I am not going to teach you how to say "no" to a scenario where you are going to have a good time instead of staying home simply because you don't have any cash. You are just going to have to think of a different hypothetical
...maybe like someone being able to guilt trip you into listening to a Missy Elliot album and eating Dominoes pizza. Nobody should have to live like that.


NEVER to either of those

there r limits!

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 9:44:49 AM

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ewww dominoes is nasty

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 10:28:55 AM

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On 4/30/2008 7:20:55 AM, sweetskittlez wrote:


I agree with you...i was always brought up very strict with a seen not heard attitude..
i was "polite" and always learned to put others first..
which as pheobe says isnt always a bad thing..but it can also be bad



Indeed.

I used to think the world ought to be a certain way, but the truth is we are all raised with different values. (That's why kids being raised on Reality TV scares me)

With experience if one can surround themselves with people of similar values then one is less likely to get into trouble.

Still, I think, there can be other influences as to why some people may have trouble being assertive and once these people learn how to be more assertive it then puts them on a more level field.

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 11:13:54 AM

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On 4/30/2008 9:37:17 AM, tripple b wrote:


Stand your ground mama!
Just keep repeating in your head.. NO MEANS NO, NO MEANS NO.
Hell tell the person trying to change your mind that lol.
Once you do it 1 time, it will be easier the next time and the next time and so on.
Soon people will learn that you won't bend for them any more and it won't be a problem any more.



Exactly! If people are trying the 'Broken Record Technique' to get their way, do it right back

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 11:16:27 AM

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On 4/29/2008 3:22:29 PM, sweetskittlez wrote:

This relates to the hijack i did on Lisa's thread.
Only positive input THANKS!
haha
Anyways i feel like i'm a pushover..like i enable people to treat me poorly becasue i always say yes or am so easily swayed.
At this point i do get annoyed and angry with it if it happens but..it always happens again.
For example..if someone asks me to come out on a Friday night and i have no money etc.
With very little prodding i can be swayed to go...becasue i get guilt tripped.
How do i stop this insanity?
I know i need to learn to say no..but it is much deeper than that..
i can say no..but i cant stick to it..




i once had this same discussion with an old friend of mine, she was a major pushover, i felt bad for her.

You just gotta do what YOU want to do. if you say no, stick to it...no matter what. it takes a lot of practice, i use to be like that too till i wisened up and said fuk this, i keep making myself miserable for others and they never show any appreciation.

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 12:08:08 PM

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On 4/30/2008 12:08:08 PM, blackwidow wrote:


i once had this same discussion with an old friend of mine, she was a major pushover, i felt bad for her.
You just gotta do what YOU want to do. if you say no, stick to it...no matter what. it takes a lot of practice, i use to be like that too till i wisened up and said fuk this, i keep making myself miserable for others and they never show any appreciation.



Just so you know......I appreciate you!

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 2:11:33 PM

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NO!

(unless of course it's Mak asking me from a farther room to get her a drink... then I can jump and ask "how high" on the way up... Hahahaha).
I love you sweetheart.

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 3:22:21 PM

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hehe you guys are cute

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 3:28:44 PM

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I've been practicing for years...

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 3:51:46 PM

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On 4/30/2008 9:34:21 AM, sweetskittlez wrote:

hahah going out was an example..
it happens for everything.
tv shows, songs, front seat of a car..ANYTHING



I find it hard to belive that someone could guilt trip you into smelling a piece of dog poo.

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 9:07:31 PM

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Ok let's try this:

sweetskittlez, give me some of your money. If you don't do it I am going to call you a Betch.

Revisions : 0   |    Posted:  4/30/2008 9:10:30 PM

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